Sep 02 2010
After-wedding celebration – gift etiquette?
One of my co-workers who I am friendly with (we get together outside of work) was informed that her daughter just eloped in Vegas. She is very happy for them & her friends are happy for her.
She is planning a party at her home in 2 weeks to celebrate – just a BBQ type thing. She has said “I just want to celebrate with my friends & family and you get to meet my daughter & new son-in-law”. She also specifically said “no gifts please”.
A couple co-workers & I are thinking a little congratulatory card & small gift is appropriate – it is a celebration & something we would like to do for our friend’s daughter, especially since she didn’t have any showers or a wedding with guests that would have given gifts. Since the couple lives out of state, I was thinking a $25 gift card to Target would be nice (I’ve checked there is a Target in her town/state).
Is that too cheap of a gift or acceptable?
You are correct that we have not met her daughter before.
I and at least two other friends/co-workers were going to get $25 gift cards to the same store so we know she could group them together to possibly buy a larger item or she could get smaller stuff, too, if she wanted.
My friend, whose daughter got married, said “no gifts” because she didn’t want anyone to feel obligated as people would feel if they were attending a wedding. The couple did not say “no gifts”. And I have a very strong suspicion that my friend said ‘no gifts’ because we know her, not her daughter, and again -she didn’t want anyone feeling obligated.
Also, I am thinking of the couple when I decided on a gift card because they are going to have to get on a plane & go home after the party and I didn’t want to inconvenience them with a bulky gift that they would then be responsible for transporting home. A gift card, which could easily slip into a wallet or purse doesn’t pose a shipping problem and they could use it for something they need.