Wedding Gift Etiquette

One of my co-workers who I am friendly with (we get together outside of work) was informed that her daughter just eloped in Vegas. She is very happy for them & her friends are happy for her.
She is planning a party at her home in 2 weeks to celebrate – just a BBQ type thing. She has said “I just want to celebrate with my friends & family and you get to meet my daughter & new son-in-law”. She also specifically said “no gifts please”.

A couple co-workers & I are thinking a little congratulatory card & small gift is appropriate – it is a celebration & something we would like to do for our friend’s daughter, especially since she didn’t have any showers or a wedding with guests that would have given gifts. Since the couple lives out of state, I was thinking a $25 gift card to Target would be nice (I’ve checked there is a Target in her town/state).

Is that too cheap of a gift or acceptable?
You are correct that we have not met her daughter before.
I and at least two other friends/co-workers were going to get $25 gift cards to the same store so we know she could group them together to possibly buy a larger item or she could get smaller stuff, too, if she wanted.
My friend, whose daughter got married, said “no gifts” because she didn’t want anyone to feel obligated as people would feel if they were attending a wedding. The couple did not say “no gifts”. And I have a very strong suspicion that my friend said ‘no gifts’ because we know her, not her daughter, and again -she didn’t want anyone feeling obligated.
Also, I am thinking of the couple when I decided on a gift card because they are going to have to get on a plane & go home after the party and I didn’t want to inconvenience them with a bulky gift that they would then be responsible for transporting home. A gift card, which could easily slip into a wallet or purse doesn’t pose a shipping problem and they could use it for something they need.

Tags: Afterwedding, Etiquette, Gift

We have a groomsmen that was in our wedding a few months ago that never got us gift (or even a card or any recognition). He’s not struggling with money or anything…We were both really good friends with him, then he started getting a little shady..

Now he’s engaged and getting married quite quickly. Both my husband and I are a little bitter…should we get him a wedding gift?

What would you do?
I’d just like to point out that we are still friends and we still talk, so it’s not like we’re holding it against him in real life…I didn’t even really think about it until he announced his engagement and wedding.

I’m not terribly shallow. I just think what he did was in poor taste.

thanks for all of the answers so far
As far as the expenses, it was just an $80 tux. He didn’t have to travel and the bachelor party was nothing more than a night out at the bar.

This also makes me angry because my girls bought a dress, threw a shower, traveled to the wedding, we went to Vegas for the bachelorette party…and they all got us small (but lovely gifts).

Maybe it’s just men.
we also gave our wedding party gifts.

Tags: Gift, question/etiquette, Wedding

We were invited but will not attend due to work commitments. Since we do not have to ‘cover the cost of the dinner’ what would be appropriate.
They are not registered anywhere.

Tags: cousins, destination, Etiquette, Gift, Proper, Wedding

I work in a doctor’s office. One of the receptionists has a son who is getting married this weekend. I do not know the son or the woman he is getting married to. Today, one of the other receptionists came around taking up a collection for a gift for the couple getting married. She stated that everyone was giving $20 and it would be used to purchase a gift certificate to one of the stores where the couple is registered. I have never given a wedding gift or attended a wedding if I didn’t know either of the couple getting married. My question is; Am I obligated to contribute to the joint office gift for a couple I do not know? (and I am not particularly close to the groom’s mother who works in the office) Would you contribute under these circumstances and if not, what can I say to nicely decline when they come around again to try and collect?
Additional info to consider: some of the other girls do know the bride because she worked with them several years ago (before I came to the office)
Also: we employees usually remember each other with a monthly birthday dinner and other ocassions. I got a gift card from my co-workers when I got married last August. However, when my mother-in-law passed away in March, they didn’t even acknowledge it with even a card or plant. For that reason, I am having difficulty about whether or not to contribute for a wedding gift when I don’t even know either the Bride or Groom.

Tags: Etiquette, Gift, office, Wedding

My niece and I are giving my step-daughter a post-wedding shower. I believe it is customary for the bride maids or girlfriends to do it, but it just never happened so we took the job. My question is this….my husband and I paid for her wedding, gave her a gift at the wedding, bought and gave her dishes and other odds & ends for her house, would it be considered incorrect for us to NOT buy her a gift for the shower? We have already spent a great deal on her & her husband and we have 3 other children to consider. After the expenses we will incur for the shower, I feel we have done enough…..what is the proper behavior? Thanks in advance & blessings to all!
Just as a follow-up, wanted to let you know the reason we are giving the shower after the wedding is because there wasn’t time before. Her husband is in the National Guard and had to leave before their scheduled wedding date so we moved it up and had to get it all planned in a rush. Thank you all for taking the time to give such great answers. It is going to be hard to pick the best one.

Tags: Etiquette, from, Gift, hostess, regarding, shower, Wedding