Sep 01 2010
Wedding gift question/etiquette?
We have a groomsmen that was in our wedding a few months ago that never got us gift (or even a card or any recognition). He’s not struggling with money or anything…We were both really good friends with him, then he started getting a little shady..
Now he’s engaged and getting married quite quickly. Both my husband and I are a little bitter…should we get him a wedding gift?
What would you do?
I’d just like to point out that we are still friends and we still talk, so it’s not like we’re holding it against him in real life…I didn’t even really think about it until he announced his engagement and wedding.
I’m not terribly shallow. I just think what he did was in poor taste.
thanks for all of the answers so far
As far as the expenses, it was just an $80 tux. He didn’t have to travel and the bachelor party was nothing more than a night out at the bar.
This also makes me angry because my girls bought a dress, threw a shower, traveled to the wedding, we went to Vegas for the bachelorette party…and they all got us small (but lovely gifts).
Maybe it’s just men.
we also gave our wedding party gifts.
11 responses so far
11 Responses to “Wedding gift question/etiquette?”
Be the better person, and give him a small gift.
yes because why make him feel bad the same way he made you guys feel. if it is in your possibilities get them something
remember to not do things to others that you did not like when they did it to you
Be the better person and get him a gift.
Groomsmen do not have to give a gift. There service to you replaces it. You should be happy that he paid for the tux and took the time to be in the wedding. Weddings aren’t about the gifts anyway.
It’s really not about who gives what….but I do understand what you are saying. Just give them something small, at least you know you did your part whether they did or not. When they open it, they will then think about what they did not do. Ot better yet….get them something very nice and make them feel really bad!
Never make anyone mad…..just always make them feel BAD!
I agree with Kristy. My situation was due to finances – I was in a friends wedding and at the time after buying the dress, shoes, getting hair done, pitching in for the bachelorette party, buying a bridal shower gift, getting transportation downtown, paying for parking at the Sears Tower(Chicago), I was just strapped. I was one year out of college and was not making much money.
But like Kristy said, be honored that he agreed to stand up in your wedding. It’s not about the gifts. Besides…men don’t always know what to do in terms of etiquette…but really why did you ask him to stand up if you were just expecting a gift???
I would get him a gift. It’s a small possibility, but what if he ordered something for you and you never got it?? That just occurred to me, as it happened to me. I of course, never thanked the person for it, and luckily, she asked me after months! if I had ever gotten her gift.
i’d give him a gift. two wrongs don’t make a right.
Of course I would get them a lovely wedding gift.
Let it go.
I would probably feel a little irritated about it as well. No it’s not about getting gifts and is not a requirement, I’m sure you already know, but understand why you feel slighted. Some people just have poor judgement about this kind of stuff. Could be that it’s just a man thing too.
I would overlook it and buy him a gift/card. Maybe he will realize then that he should have done the same for you. Be the bigger person!
The fact that he was in your wedding party is gift enough. He does not have to then give you a gift. His time and effort for being a groomsman should be good enough.
If your husband is in his wedding party, then he does not have to give a gift. But if he is not a groomsman, then a gift is appropriate. Actually, I gave my groomsmen gifts for their time an effort so it should be the other way round.