Aug 29 2010
What is the proper etiquette for wedding gifts?
I’m a bridesmaid in a wedding this Saturday. I have already given a gift at the bridal shower and spent money for me dress, shoes, etc and also for the cost of a weekend girls bachelorette trip to Atlanta. Do I still have to give a wedding gift? This is starting to add up and I’m just wondering.
7 responses so far
7 Responses to “What is the proper etiquette for wedding gifts?”
yes in addition to the dress and travel expenses and the shower gift, you still have to give a wedding gift too. it adds up when you’re a bridesmaid.
No, you don’t have to.
I would still get a gift. However, since you have contributed so much already and spent a lot of money so far, it doesn’t have to be something really expensive. Just find something on the registry or in a store that you think the couple will really use.
Yes you do. Unfortunately being a bridesmaid is expensive and cost should be taken into account when accepting the position.
You are never obliged to give a gift.
Despite the mercenary sense of entitlement expressed by (or on behalf of) some brides, the *only* thing you are asking a friend to do when you ask her to be your bridesmaid, is to stand beside you at your wedding ceremony as moral support. Everything else is an additional imposition, and the bride should be cognizant that she is imposing on you every time she makes a request. With each imposition, the “honour” associated with being a bridesmaid is eroded, the terms of the agreement are changed, and you are entitled to withdraw your acceptance of the “honour”.
That being said, the trip to Atlanta was as much an outing for you as for the other girls, so it was money you spent on yourself. The dress and shoes are also yours. And shower gifts are properly supposed to be small consumables — the sort of housekeeping items that wear out or get used up. For a friend good enough to support as bridesmaid, you would probably *want* to give some sort of lasting memento. It needn’t be something expensive: a small item that will last and be cherished is fine. Or, if the shower gift was such a gift, let it stand for the wedding gift and just recognize the actual wedding day with a charming card or note.
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Sorry. Yes you do. It’s the price of admission.
yes.. it is part of the price of being in the wedding… there are multiple costs for you…